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The 2013 Aston Martin

British Power Spreads its Wings

What is the car for a spy who has a company gas card, a 2013 Aston Martin is the choice of the not so subtle covert operatives. Aston Martin design team has looked to build breathtakingly beautiful cars that can make a Prius driver have a wet dream of lust that night. It seems like the Monarchy of British rule looks to go the same route as “Ze Germans” of ze um Porsche. Porsche has the Panamera which is incredibly bulbously but fast therefore for 2013 Aston Martin Rapide does a little Botox to keep up appearances with their sport sedan. If a luxury coupe sport sedan wagon wasn’t enough they decided to follow “Ze Germans” again by trying an even more gender bending display of God-Complex like Sport luxury sedan wagon coupe minivan sport utility vehicle called the new Aston Martin Lagonda which is Spanish for “The penis is gone-da” because you better have a uterus and soccer practice to get to in order to even start the he/she mobile. The 2013 Lagonda is the Ritzy gay man your wife always wanted for a shopping buddy and together they will suck you dry (Monetary Fund’s Only).

Those Aston Martin cars don’t interest me at all, now entertain me

New is the amazing Aston Martin Zagato that is priced the same amount as our national debt (a lot). This is a car that can be so simple yet so damn expensive. The V-12 is so long you will be looking for a tighter hood to show it off to all your friends in hopes to spark jealousy. This car has that old style cues with new technology and will be the bargain buy since you can get three of them for the price of the insane Aston Martin One-77. If you want to see them in action than please visit your local Dubai where an oil sheik will be stalling it out and riding the brakes the whole way.

Found out the IRS took more than expected, now what Aston Martin can I get?

The word on the net street beat is that the Aston Martin DB9 had an eating disorder and went to fat camp where it wasn’t allowed to come home till it lost some weight. For the 2013 Aston Martin DB9 or I’m sorry the new Aston Martin VH500 (VH5150 is better) has become addicted to diet pills and is looking pretty sexy even though you know she has issues. The Engineers put their beautiful big brains together and cut the fat out and reworked the heart making for a runway model that can actually run. For 2013 Aston Martin is sure to add more wacky L.E.D. light stripes into the headlights since everyone is doing this now (I don’t care who started it, it needs to stop). All in all Aston Martin continues to create magnificent vehicles and although I bitch about the 2013 Aston Martin Rapide, it is quite stunning especially for a 4 door. I just hope that they don’t get too comfortable with gender benders and continue to create the cars they do today. I look forward to seeing their progress as a whole for the Aston Martin 2013 stable continues to expand.

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Uriah Nazario
About Uriah Nazario

If you are easily offended and like to comment about how your feelings are hurt then you won't like my style of writing. I speak my mind (which is deranged) and yes it is often offensive. I am open for debate but not whining. I appreciate all my readers and hope my articles put a smile on your face.

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